Out of the Blue

I managed to find a relatively quiet corner in T3 Wang Jiao + sofa seat and for $2.30 spent like 2 hr sitting and reading and journaling. It's like so tough to find a place to sit and enjoy some quiet moments nowadays. And as I shopped around later, I found this music CD titled "A moment in Time", produced by Kevin Ho, Corrinne May's hubby! I bought and listened to it. Interestingly, though instrumental the tunes were so "Christian song" like. But I liked it. It's not easy to find good instrumental music.. think I'm blessed! Yet with all the good stuff, and knowing that I'm blessed. A lingering thought in my mind remains. "Why am I not satisfied?"

For the past few months, the fulcrum of my life has been pressing more on personal life and ministry. Wedding, marriage preparation, new team-mates, ministry retreats and outings. Last Fri, my family and I remembered Grandpa on his 1st year death anniversary. Alot of fuss and Toaist ritual stuff which I hated but went through anyhow. I miss Grandpa but still.. And somehow after that, the fulcrum is moving.. I sense it moving back to family. It's Grandma. Doc said she's has depression and anxiety. Plus her brain has mild stroke. Kidneys are starting to fail. She forgets what she heard. She's really afraid of being alone. Fainting spells. Childish behaviour. It's getting harder and harder to be patient with her. Can only pray that she gets better. But you kind of know it's a downhill naturally. The really important thing is if she knows Jesus. It's Grandpa all over again sigh.. Will she be able to attend my wedding next year?