green eyed monster

September 14, 2008, 22:18
I'm a green-eyed monster. The disease I have is called jealousy. How it all happened I don't really know. The earliest memory is Mum comparing me to a friend's daughter and saying I'm better. Subsequently, they were never ending self-made comparisons that always left me feeling worse and lousy. I'm not pretty enough, as capable, not good enough.

Something inside me gnaws at this carnal, irritable syndrome. It's saying, No! You are good enough, You are His precious child. You don't have to compare yourself with others.

But I don't. I can't believe it. Stop it you green eyed creature! What good will it do you to compare and sink into your self piteous pit. I'm scared, I'm afraid that I can never be the person I hope to be.

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